One of the major reason for my anxiety is this hidden traitor I’d like to call the ‘mind made assumptions’. I’d only recently found this weird useless mechanism of my mind which not only produces useless mental thinking but it often makes me so self-conscious of each of my actions (and that too not in a good way like consciousness or doing something with complete presence) that it leaves me feeling anxious thinking the worse possible outcome for my action.
Let me elaborate that with an example. So the other day my friend came to me looking completely different with a weirdo hairstyle and I told my friend “This doesn’t suit you. You were far better yesterday”. For a normal person that would be the end of convo. Maybe my friend might have even said, “Thought I’d try something new”. This is conversation right? Where we give remarks or maybe even make fun of them without intending to hurt them. But what my mind does is really stupid. It’ll hold on to it like it’s a flaw on my part by creating bizarre thoughts like “What if my friend felt bad?” or “Should I apologise?” Things were going this way for sometime and I thought I need to change the way my mind perceives every innocent conversation.
Well this excess thoughts following any action is literally useless because they’re mind made assumptions. Nothing more. Well you never said something to genuinely make that person feel bad. So if you said something as a part of conversation without any intention of hurting others then just let the thought go. That person won’t even be thinking about what you said to them. They’ll probably thinking about their next interview or something. You just need to chill without running with your assumptions. You didn’t say to hurt them so end of story. If they take it that way that’s their problem, their state of mind, their mind made assumptions.
By this I never meant that you go on insulting another person. That’s bad and for that you should apologise to them. If it’s beyond apologising take it as a lesson learnt and let go. But if it’s all part of an innocent conversation, then, you my friend needs to stop giving fucks to your mind made assumptions and start living your beautiful life.